empty arms

I have a special love for Hannah in the Old Testament.  Her song on the promise of her pregnancy is the precursor to Mary’s Magnificat, and it never fails to move me.  Next month it will be 45 years since my first son was born, a full-term stillbirth.  The Lord gave me Hannah’s song when I was recovering in the hospital.  The next morning when David came to see me, I suggested that we name our son Samuel.  I left the hospital with empty arms and a hole in my heart. 

This post today is going to be rather controversial, even upsetting to many of you.  I ask that you read it with my history in mind, my special empathy with expectant women, barren women, women in pregnancies that begin or end with some sort of crisis.  I am being bold to share this.  It’s scary.  But I hope that you can at least see that the issue of abortion is more complex and nuanced that you might have previously considered.

“The Lord humbles and exalts,
  He raises the poor from the dust
   and lifts the needy from the ash heap….
It is not by strength that one prevails.”     From 1 Samuel 2:7,8 & 9

Women in the days of Hannah and Mary didn’t enjoy the same privileges as men.  We think that has changed.  But there are poor and oppressed women who are still at the mercy of men.  We might think of this as a second or third world problem, but it occurs even here in the United States.

Let me begin by saying that I am NOT pro-abortion.  But I have to wonder if politicians and justices, mostly men, should be the ones making decisions about an issue of a woman’s health and well-being.  Might this not ignore the realities of poverty, racial and global inequity and mental health?

I recently read analysis of an interesting paper, published in the “American Journal of Public Health”.  It is based on research conducted by Tulane University.  Their study examined the association between state abortion policy and maternal health.  States where abortion policies were more restrictive had a 7% increase in total maternal mortality.  States that had a licensed physician requirement for abortions had a 51% higher mortality rate, and states that restricted Medicaid funding for abortions had a 29% higher total mortality rate.  How can that be?

I mentioned this recently to a friend who is staunchly pro-life, and her response was, “Any woman who needs a medical abortion to save her life can get one in a hospital.”  But she said that unaware that she was speaking from a position of privilege, assuming that every pregnant woman has access to a hospital or even adequate prenatal care.  This study says that, in fact, they don’t.

I think suburban, white women like myself tend to think that most abortions are a result of inconvenience.  That may be true of white college girls.  But in my personal experience of women of color in under-privileged situations, many women actually want to have children, even out of wedlock.  Children provide a certain status.  For Hannah barrenness meant exclusion from participation in the future blessing of the nation of Israel.  Today, even when pregnancy is the result of a terrible choice or rape or the product of an abusive relationship, there are many women who still want to give birth, keep their babies and be better mothers.  For over twenty years Dave and I have supported a ministry in Pasadena called Elizabeth House.  It is a safe place for women in crisis pregnancies to live with their existing children while they wait to give birth.  At Elizabeth House they receive so much support…classes in childbirth and childcare, employment counseling, emotional and spiritual support.  And this support continues long after they transition to other housing in the months after giving birth.  Oh, how I wish there were more such ministries in our city and all over the country!

But there aren’t enough.  And poor, black and brown women who are genetically at higher risk for diabetes and hypertension are much less likely to survive an unsupervised pregnancy.  So, the unintended consequence of restricting abortion is that more of these women die.  I say “unintended” because that can’t be what the most ardent pro-lifers want to happen.

I wish that every pregnant woman could sing Hannah’s song.  Someday, in the redeemed world, they may.  But until that day all of our attempts to legislate the moral dilemmas of women will get it wrong—maybe a little wrong or maybe very wrong with tragic consequences.  Because the law cannot make us holy or whole.  The law brings death.  Only grace and love, empathy and understanding bring life.  The law was given to point us to our need for the perfect love of God. 

Love, Liz

Sculpture by Kendra Bayer-Foreman