holy tears

When we stopped by Evansville, Indiana to see our recently widowed friend Kathy, I asked if we could visit her husband John’s grave with her.  His ashes were buried about a month ago in his family plot in Boonville, Indiana.  In the car on the way to Boonville, Kathy observed that cemeteries are “kinda your thing.”  I’m sure by now you’ve observed the same thing.  She asked me what I do when I visit my family in cemeteries.  I explained that although I know that those I visit aren’t really there, their graves provide a touchpoint.  I do find myself talking to them, and  sometimes, in telling them news and talking about how I miss them, I shed tears.

The Lutz family plot in Maple Grove Cemetery is on a gentle rise, an esteemed place expressing the prominence of this family in the town.  John David’s father and grandfather were bankers and the latter was at one time the State’s Attorney for Indiana.  There are no trees in the cemetery per se, but there are still maple trees all around the perimeter.  I can imagine that in autumn the woods are ablaze with color.  

We stood in that spot and chatted with Kathy about John’s final days.  Mostly Dave and I listened and let her share or be silent.  The moment was hers.  We were there to follow her lead.  Eventually, Kathy asked if we’d like to say anything.  So, each of us spoke to John David about our love for him.  We said we knew how much he and Kathy had loved each other, and that we were here to support her as she makes the transition to life without him after 43 years of marriage.  The words were for Kathy, even more than for John.  And we all cried a little together….holy tears.

Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted.”  Perhaps that is why I’m drawn to cemeteries.  So much heartbreak means that God must be very near. 

Love, Liz

photo by David McFadzean